


Idiot Son of Mine

by mt_lyfe



Series: Compendium of Inane Drabbles [3]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Deputy Derek Hale, Don't copy to another site, Established Relationship, Humor, Idiots in Love, M/M, POV Sheriff Stilinski, Sheriff Stilinski Finds Out, Sheriff Stilinski's Name is John
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:48:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27397459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mt_lyfe/pseuds/mt_lyfe
Summary: John is not an idiot. The gentleman caller that never uses the front door is not as subtle as he thinks he is. Neither is Stiles.
Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Series: Compendium of Inane Drabbles [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1899214
Comments: 22
Kudos: 387





	Idiot Son of Mine

**Author's Note:**

> Making up titles and summaries is hard ;-;

John is not an idiot.

He sees the little signs around the house like the two extra cans of pop in the recycle bin, along with the occasional beer can lingering around the house. John hasn’t drunk in years and Stiles is still nineteen, he wouldn't dare to break the underage drinking law.

So John deduces it’s someone older, and a man this time. If it were a woman, Stiles would have scrambled to clean his room and hide everything like the one time that Lydia girl came over to borrow a textbook in freshman year. She hadn’t even made it further than the porch and Stiles had laundered _everything_ in preparation for her arrival. Every single shirt he owned, as well as all the linen in the house, including _John’s_ own bedsheets. He doesn’t want to know what Stiles was thinking at the time. Luckily, his idiot son remembered to keep one good shirt, so he didn't show up at the door with just a towel. He’d washed those too.

His next crush wasn’t any better. When he and Malia dated, Stiles developed an... Obsession with raw meat because that damn woman had been living in the wild for too long and refused to eat anything cooked. So raw meat on date night it was. The migraine-inducing things his son did for love.

This one was the longest crush his son had, and by far looking like the most promising one. No crazy laundry sprees, no strange obsession with live game. He would go as far as to say that it was the most normal courting he'd ever seen. Not that he wanted to judge what was considered normal or not but Stiles running around like a headless chicken trying to please his date was not what he wanted for his kid. He almost dared to say he approved of this one.

So a man, twenty-one or older and adept at sneaking in and out of the house, never through the front door.

Now how was he going to break it to his son that while his choices in significant others had improved greatly since high school, his subtlety had not?

He’d come home early and happened to pass by his son’s room with the door half open. Kid couldn’t even remember to close the door properly. He definitely had company.

John could wait until the relationship was stable enough and Stiles felt comfortable with introducing his partner. His son was an adult after all, John would have played ignorant if it weren’t for the hurried whispers of:

 _“Shhh! Dad's home! Hide!”_ Which were not as quiet as he thought they were.

Oh for the love of— John wasn’t a squeamish person by any means, but seeing that, he had to put the poor man out of his misery. He called out, “a full-grown man does not fit under the bed you idiot son of mine.” Pause. That uniform looked familiar. “Now tell Deputy Hale to get out from under there and get your asses down here for dinner.”

**Author's Note:**

> Randomness: I was debating on saying: 'Pause. That ass looked familiar.' Because I suddenly remembered a random line from Avengers: Endgame where Steve looks at his past self and says "that is America's ass."


End file.
